The most boring swamp tour ever
Saturday we decided to go on another swamp tour. This time we had a different tour guide. Several things became apparent immediately.
1) He really liked the sound of his own voice
2) He had an obvious flair for drama. He missed his calling as a radical conservationist
3) Not all swamp tours are created equally
4) Swamp tours are best taken in in cooler weather
We sat, for 10's of minutes at a time, in stagnant swampy waters under a blaring sun listening to this man drone on about mind-numbing facts about some bizarre and totally uninteresting bird. We sat for more 10's of minutes listening to this man on a completely pointless tangent, not even sticking to the same subject. We listened to excruciating stories about how terrible parents let their children be eaten by alligators in Florida, and politicians and authorities watch it happen, and grandma and grandpa don't have the heart to break it to their son or daughter that they let their child be eaten by an alligator becuase they fed the alligator chicken and steak on saturday afternoons to train the alligator like a pet seal to do tricks, while they drank themselves silly through the night and then when dad and mom are hung over the next morning little sally decides to feed daddy's pet alligator some bread. But take all the crap in the painful run-on sentence up there and expand each small tidbit to about 14 sentences of drama and there you have our tour guide.
Then we decided to go see a movie. We were gonna see 3:10 to Yuma, but since I'm a total numbskull and apparently had my yahoo page configured to see the wrong theaters, I picked up the wrong movie time and so we headed to the theater after the last showing had begun (40 minutes prior). After some quick discussion we decided to see Kingdom. Now if that's not a downer, I don't know what is. Some movies just hit too close to home, and this was one of them. It was depressing and terrifying all at the same time.
All in all I think I didn't do so good in the entertainment department yesterday.
1) He really liked the sound of his own voice
2) He had an obvious flair for drama. He missed his calling as a radical conservationist
3) Not all swamp tours are created equally
4) Swamp tours are best taken in in cooler weather
We sat, for 10's of minutes at a time, in stagnant swampy waters under a blaring sun listening to this man drone on about mind-numbing facts about some bizarre and totally uninteresting bird. We sat for more 10's of minutes listening to this man on a completely pointless tangent, not even sticking to the same subject. We listened to excruciating stories about how terrible parents let their children be eaten by alligators in Florida, and politicians and authorities watch it happen, and grandma and grandpa don't have the heart to break it to their son or daughter that they let their child be eaten by an alligator becuase they fed the alligator chicken and steak on saturday afternoons to train the alligator like a pet seal to do tricks, while they drank themselves silly through the night and then when dad and mom are hung over the next morning little sally decides to feed daddy's pet alligator some bread. But take all the crap in the painful run-on sentence up there and expand each small tidbit to about 14 sentences of drama and there you have our tour guide.
Then we decided to go see a movie. We were gonna see 3:10 to Yuma, but since I'm a total numbskull and apparently had my yahoo page configured to see the wrong theaters, I picked up the wrong movie time and so we headed to the theater after the last showing had begun (40 minutes prior). After some quick discussion we decided to see Kingdom. Now if that's not a downer, I don't know what is. Some movies just hit too close to home, and this was one of them. It was depressing and terrifying all at the same time.
All in all I think I didn't do so good in the entertainment department yesterday.
posted by rebecca at 9:53 AM
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