Wipes: The New World Order
I think it started with Baby Wipes. We needed an health conscious and convenient way to get rid of some pretty darn vile stuff in a matter of seconds, while battling the bearer of said vile substance in a battle the likes of a WWF competition. I believe this is actually totally justified. We could just wet a paper towel, or wet a RAG, but we don't. This, of course, would necessitate laundering of roughly 80 rags a day by a woman or man who is already fully prepared to throw the infant away, never mind make the decision *not* to toss the 80 (or more realistically 320, the very last clean one is actually technically a doily) putrescent bundles of filth. This is fully and completely justifiable.
A few decades later, someone actually thought to themselves "Well, adults need to wipe their posteriors, too!" and out came the new line of Wipes, the Not-Baby Wipes.
Then someone thought "Wow, I think this Wipes market is a totally untapped market for MY product", and out came Clorox Wipes.
And then everyone realized the potential.
Pledge.
Windex.
Cutex.
Mr. Clean.
Clearasil.
Tucks.
Off.
Shout.
Armor All.
Purell.
Kleenex.
Always.
There's a Wipe for almost anything now. Pretty soon we won't be showering anymore, we'll just be Body Wiping. We'll not wash our cars anymore, we'll just use our Car Wipes. We won't vaccuum our carpets (uh oh...they've already invented this one), we'll just use our Carpet Wipes.
I, for one, am really happy about this new trend. As a busy workin' mom who's as neurotic about home cleanliness as Clorox commercials want her to be, it means I can actually keep things as clean as They think I should.
I have Clorox Wipes
I have Pledge Wipes
I have Scrubbin' Bubbles Wipes
I have Baby Wipes
I have Toddler Wipes
I have Carpet Wipes
Wipes rock.
A few decades later, someone actually thought to themselves "Well, adults need to wipe their posteriors, too!" and out came the new line of Wipes, the Not-Baby Wipes.
Then someone thought "Wow, I think this Wipes market is a totally untapped market for MY product", and out came Clorox Wipes.
And then everyone realized the potential.
Pledge.
Windex.
Cutex.
Mr. Clean.
Clearasil.
Tucks.
Off.
Shout.
Armor All.
Purell.
Kleenex.
Always.
There's a Wipe for almost anything now. Pretty soon we won't be showering anymore, we'll just be Body Wiping. We'll not wash our cars anymore, we'll just use our Car Wipes. We won't vaccuum our carpets (uh oh...they've already invented this one), we'll just use our Carpet Wipes.
I, for one, am really happy about this new trend. As a busy workin' mom who's as neurotic about home cleanliness as Clorox commercials want her to be, it means I can actually keep things as clean as They think I should.
I have Clorox Wipes
I have Pledge Wipes
I have Scrubbin' Bubbles Wipes
I have Baby Wipes
I have Toddler Wipes
I have Carpet Wipes
Wipes rock.
posted by rebecca at 11:10 PM
4 Comments:
so you forgot one, one you don't use or at least not right away, it is called a paper towel wipe, they work well for wiping a childs hands and face right after they eat :D
OK, so I may be missing some or most of the wipes on your list but boy do I buy a lot of PT wipes!
yeah. contrary to amber's belief, I actually do clean my child's face.
and I go through an inhuman volume of paper towels every month, as well.
I didn't say you don't do it, just not right away and the whole time while they eat :)
I remember a story of someone walking around with a child covered in chocolate cookie mess :P
wait a minute now, we were at the MALL. that doesn't count. ;-)
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